Law #2: Expect New Contacts

This is Dr John Demartini's second Law of Networking:

Expect to create and start new friendships and relationships. If you go out to a place where people are that you do not know, expect to make new friends, and your focus will create that to happen. Expectancy is like a magnet. It draws people to you, and they're compelled to become a part of your conversation. Expectancy creates a dynamic of power in you that people can feel, and when you're networking, you must have that power on!

What you expect to happen at networking functions usually does. Expect to meet at least 5 new people at a function and expect to create great relationships out of the mix. Expect people to be attracted to you. Expect people to be curious. Expect people to want to become a client. Expect people to want to do business with you. Don't be surprised when they are and do.

What a fear it was and still is for me to meet new people. What if they don't like me? What will they think of me? I think that are the typical thoughts of an average person before and during a networking event. Get over it! When they don't like you, you don't want them as your client anyway.
Easy to say, I know. Meeting five new people per event is still a challenge for me. Especially when people cling to you half of the time. ;)
I like the way Demartini puts it: To expect something. That's gives the whole thing another spin. It is important to have a goal of meeting five new people, but expecting it? It does change my attitude for the event.
So, what are your networking goals or expectations for 2011?

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

Law #1: Be Where People Are

This is Dr John Demartini's first law of successful networking

Since hermits often fail in business, get out amongst the crowds and start engaging in conversations. Few people will be coming to your house begging to get into your business. Maximize your exposure and make sure you have plenty of "face time" with people and do it often. Be where people are. That is where the golden pay cheques are in business.

This "law" also is my number one challenge but I can't go away from it anymore. Too many people now me already ;) As I am doing actively some networking here in Brisbane for a couple of months now, people start to remember me. Just last Friday, when I saw Dr John Demartini the first time live here in Brisbane, I met many people I knew from other events. But I also made new connections. Still, I am not confident yet with my elevator pitch, but I am getting there.

Meeting people doesn't mean have a lot of facebook friends. As John Demartini mentioned, it is about "face time". Have eye contact with people and see how they react to your questions and just listen. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So, how much do you care?

It doesn't have to be about business at all? Find out their background. You will find plenty of different stories especially here in Australia. Find out why they attended this particular event and how they found out about it.

Yes, there is some kind of aggressive networking as well, and I am not particular a fan of this. "Hey, how are you? What are you doing?" and 10 sec later they ask for your business card and run off to the next person. What kind of impression should this give to me? Do you think I want to deal with this person's business? I don't think so, at least not straight away. Maybe I could teach him some lessons, hehe ...

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

Compassion - it's a pity that your life sucks

Again ... Christmas time is coming up. Time for sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. Really?

Human beings should help and support each other through sharing knowledge, motivation and inspiration. Where is the power of pity and feeling sorry? What does this do to the human? It confirms and manifest the situation the person is in. Don't waste your time with feeling sorry for someone. Acknowledge the person and the situation they are in, but don't leave them like this. Give them the strength and courage they need to move on in their lifes.

They also say Xmas is Jesus' birthday. You can believe it or not, it doesn't really matter. But I don't believe that Jesus pitied everyone who is in a bad situation. He was a man of inspiration and motivation. He shared his believe so people could move ahead again.

It is about mindset. Compassion has for me a bitter aftertaste. It doesn't provide solutions. People suffering are looking for solutions. Maybe you don't have the solution, but at least don't be part of their problem by pitying them. 

You want to be a problem solver? Start educating yourself in personal development.

• People Skills
• Networking
• NLP
• Become an expert in your area of interest
• Become a leader
• Share your knowledge
• Be honest
• Join a team that creates future problem solvers :o) 

Team Fitness Global Driven by Hearts, Powered by Desire and Ruled by Integrity

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

Life is trial and error

... and when things work out, your business growth ... great :o) .. people call it luck or that it happened by accident. But luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

Preparation
Preparation means you know what you are doing. You are prepared for the event that your business hits momentum. You have educated yourself in the area of interest. You suddenly make a lot of money, you know what to do. But more important, you know what not to do. Just imagine you meet your dream client and you know exactly what to say to get his attention and interest in your service. That's preparation. Read books, go to seminars, develop your people skills. It is not easy, otherwise everyone would be successful.
I see it similar in health. Prepare your body for rough times. There will be days and even weeks, where you won't eat healthy and you run from one meeting to another. A healthy body can handle this. Go and get your exercise and eat healthy ... and life is fun :o)

Opportunity
Have an open mind. Keep talking to people and listen to what they have to say. Opportunities are everywhere. Go to meetup groups in your area, preferable of your interest. But again, who knows who you will meet when you just go to a meeting you don't know the topic about. That can be fun. You will meet people again. Yes, the first impression is the most important one. I have learnt so much from people over time, and I didn't like them at the first place. You just never know. They can turn into raving fans of yours and refer people to your business. This happens over and over again. This is where honesty and trust comes in. There is no point to badmouth people or businesses. It is your reputation suffering from it.

So, when someone comes to you and tells you, ah, you are just lucky with your business .. tell him this

LUCK - Laboring under correct knowledge

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

If you can solve a problem, someone will hire you

How self-education and the pursuit of passion beat formal education
I don't want this article to be one of the trendy critics about our obsolete education system. However, maybe it will be one at the end.


Fortunately every human is unique with his/her own passion for something. They might tell us, that we represent one nation or one school. But everyone should not forget, that there is still you. You, with your own favourite meal, your own favourite TV show and your own problems. What would happen if we could learn what we love to do? Would the world be a better place?

You might hear people saying, that you need specific classifications or degrees to climb the ladder? There are several options I think:

• When you love what  you do, the classifications or degrees are not real hurdles. You will do everything you can to reach your goal and you love doing it. But keep in mind, degrees and classifications have been set up, to have a nationwide/world wide standard in the system. You might consider thinking outside the box as well. What is given you at school or university is not the world we actually live in!
• You have an idea and passion and you could spent hours on this, go for it. It might be absurd at the beginning and people might belittle you for this .... but always remember, every ground-breaking invention in the last 200 years was belittled at the beginning. Play the game in the system's ethically and legally borders. To fulfil your dream and become successful (whatever it means for you) you don't have to follow every rule (i.e. to get a job)

As the title says, if you can solve a problem, someone will hire you. Most people don't care how you do it. Make yourself known as this specific problem solver and people will knock on your door. If you love what you do, people will feel and see it. Your passion creates a bright sparkling aura around you and people love to be around you. They will start listen to you and follow your advise, because they know they can trust you.

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

Give people the courage to learn what they love

Recently I read a short article about James Marcus Bach and his book Buccaneer - Scholar. Firstly this resulted in that I added 2 more books in my ToRead-folder: James' book and the book of his father Richard Bach Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

One sentence caught my attention in the article:

He left school because his teachers wanted him to learn subjects that bored him, while they wouldn't reward him for learning more about the subjects he loved.

How many human lives have been misguided through the school system, setup at least decades ago? A handful of people decided about what you need to know or better, what you have to know to fit into their system. Students get "locked" away for 10-12years to be trained to be a good employee. The ones with smart parents get to see the world outside of the comfort box. These parents (friends or even mentors) show kids what is possible if they want to succeed in life. They train them with the right mind set.
I put myself on this journey a couple of years ago. I acknowledge that common sense is not that common and an open mind can change your life. My personal challenges are:

• comparison with other people
• self-confidence
• being teachable
• discipline to follow a system
• and possibly much more

I would suggest to start with personal development as early as possible. Kids are born with an open mind. They believe everything you tell them. Just imagine you teach them the right things and the right mind set. Unfortunately, we limit and misguide them as soon as they are born. They can feel anger and they hear partners arguing. And that becomes a situation that is normal to them.
Changing the mindset later in life, as it happens to me right now, it cost you time and a lots of up and downs. It is worth it, but I wished I heard about personal development earlier.

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

What keeps you going?

Up and down .... very up .... very down

This describes very much my motivation level for the last months. What is it that shoots my mood up to the sky and what are things that bring me down.

Ups:

• Goal Setting
• New opportunities
• great conversations 
• having great people around me
• praise
• acknowledgement
• a good book/article/blog post
• a good workout
• unfortunately ice cream doesn't work for me *sniff*

Downs:

• Comparison with other people (who are already where I want to be)
• objections (when I take them as rejections)
• tiredness
• critique

 Can you be always up? Maybe, but I am sure most people have some down time.What matters then is, that you find the way out of it as soon as possible. Find a trigger reminding you to change your mind set. Nothing will happen when you keep whinging and getting more depressed. And this will be reflected in your environment, be it friends, parents or partner and children. And you even will find something negative on the most beautiful sunrise in the morning.


My mood can change very quickly. One word or a comments is sometimes enough, and I am on my way down. Maybe I take things too personal most of the time. I find this very annoying. At the end it is up to me to change this. No one else is to blame for this. I think one good recipe is to acknowledge the down time and noticing what happened. Then immediately focus on the things that cheer you up, be it your vision board, one chapter in your favourite book and call a friend (the positive thinking one!)

What are things that keep you going? How do you stay away from the dark zone? ;o)

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

Don't do a thing just for the sake of it

How many times have you wondered in the middle of something ... why am I doing this? What's the point? Who cares if these leaves are on the grass?

I need to remind myself why I am writing this blog. Sometimes it feels like I do it just because I put in my agenda for Thursday nights. But it is not only this blog ... there are many other areas where I need to refocus. One was or is my PhD studies. And I guess it is the same for thousands of people out there, wondering why they are doing this particular job. Getting up every morning, taking the packed train at 8 to arrive in the office at 9. You do it because you was told to do so. You remember as a kid, when everyone asks you ... what do you want to become when you grow up?

You can easily argue ... you do it because of the money. Wouldn't it be much better to earn money with the things you love to do, because you do them with passion and a purpose. You don't do them because they are in your agenda.

I am fortunate enough to decide when I want to get up in the morning. Because I don't have someone telling me, when I have to be in the office. However, I still get up at 5am. Why? Because I have goal in life. I structure my day as I want it to be. It is still not perfect. I have things on my list where I am not clear of where they will lead me and why I have actually set them up. That's where a monthly or even weekly review comes in. Review your projects, find out if they are leading you to your goal if you keep them going as they are. If yes, great. If not ... rewrite the project or event think about abandoning it.

Again, I try not to do things just for the sake of them. Give any action at least a bit of meaning. Why am I doing this? 

• one step closer to financial freedom
• one step closer to my dream car
• one step closer to finish my studies
• one step closer to earn money with this blog
• one step closer to reach my goal weight
• one step closer to be one with myself
• one step closer to .... (put in your own goal)

Run your day ... so you can run your life. 

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

How to get things done you hate

You could ask why are such things on your list anyway. In my case, because 4 years ago I was very excited about this project and started it. (Un)fortunately I am a person who finishes things before starting something new. But this is a topic for another time. To close this project now I have some tasks I have to finish. This brings me to tip 1:

1. It will be over soon :)
2. Step by step
   Don't look at the whole workload at once, that won't cheer you up. Look at one task at the time, get a pen and paper and start writing. Go away from you existing work, that is just annoying and distracting.
3. Celebrate after every small step finished
   Get some snacks, dance in the room, listen to your favourite song or smash your sand sack next to you.
4. Have the goal in mind and smile.
   In my case the graduation day is highlighted in my agenda and I am damn so looking forward to it. Everyone knows about this data, now I have to be accountable for this and actually get it done (at least the things that are under my control).
5. Believe in yourself
   How many new ideas and inspiration do you think will come up in your mind when you permanently put yourself down? Not many, right? I have no idea who invented negative thoughts, but I suggest to just ignore them. Agreed, it is not easy and family and friends are sometimes not the most helpful people. However, one day they will learn and accept :)

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore

No way I will do public speaking

 ... until now.
Public speaking is one skill everyone should learn and improve. I believe that is part of the personal development (the stuff you do after you have left school).
So, how come? It is not only that speaking is a challenge for me as English is not my first language, so why even public speaking now? Because I want to reach my goals and to do this I have to:

• spread ideas
• express my knowledge
• increase my volume of English vocabulary
• focus on the audience/clients and not on me
• change my attitude

But where does the common fear of public speaking comes from? It even has been shown that people's public speaking anxiety is stronger than fear of death. Very interesting. And it is all about fear of rejection.

Babies cry for and adults die for it = Recognition and Acceptance.

 I am very close to get my thesis accepted (currently working on the response to the examiners). Therefore I need to find a new market where I can provide my services. And to make my name known to the outside world, I have to tell them. And at the beginning this can only be through actual talking.
As mentioned in a previous post, networking events are the perfect location for this. I am loving it and I am learning something new everytime.
Last week I have joined a small public speaking training group in Chermside. Rado, the organizer gave a good overview about how to dress and how to warm up your voice. The guest speaker was Patricia Gibson. She gave a very interesting overview about what is involved in public speaking. Before you dig into the world of public speaking, answer the following questions for yourself:

• Why is it important for you to know how to be more confident and clear in your speaking?
• Why do you think you are not speaking as confidently and clearly as you would like? What is holding you back?
• What will open up for you in your career or life when you are speaking as confidently and clearly as you would like?
• What will yo have to learn to speak as confidently and clearly as you imagine.

Patricia also gave some practical public speaking tips in regards of body language, voice and skills. The fear of public speaking starts in your mind and is shown in your feelings, your behaviour and sadly in your results and this influences again your thoughts. You have to start in your mind.

Capacity of communication is equals to success

Patricia will give a public speaking training in September here in Brisbane. Check out her website: www.TricGibson.com . What's in it for me? All the public speaking tips are good, but mean nothing until you have put them into action. That's why more networking will be on my agenda for the next weeks and month. Also, giving workshops about an area of interest is becoming more and more reality now. I have found a business partner, so we will do it together.... watch the space :)

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You can't Believe in bHIP until You Believe in Yourself – Terry LaCore